Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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