Just fell off a train. Bad.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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