My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
