I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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