college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Randomize
