in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
