My room smells like vodka and shame
Please, let me fuck your mom
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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