i think my mom watched the whole time
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
