So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
