Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
