I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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