fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
