so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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