I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Dicks are not precious.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
