I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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