I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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