is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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