'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
