did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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