Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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