Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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