i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
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