I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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