YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
