he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
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