Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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