Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
