at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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