What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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