Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
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