Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
