Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
