yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
