I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize