I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
