My entire life is one complicated drinking game
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
