google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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