i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize