He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Randomize
