: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
