We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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