Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize