shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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