I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
