its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize