Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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