i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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