I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
