Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
