i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
i dont even know how to be here
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I'm way too hungover for life right now
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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