1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
