theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize