only you would photoshop your dick
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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