I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
