I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
