I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
