awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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