so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
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Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
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