"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
