There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Randomize