woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
whose ass print is on the piano?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
