Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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