Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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