Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
