it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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