the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Randomize
