When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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