why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Of course I have a pirate flag
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I need water and some morals
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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