I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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