I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I touched a dick in church today
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
