So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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