I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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