i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
