Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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