Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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