I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
