I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
she smelled like a LAN party
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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