Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
