remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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