My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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