And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
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