hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I have tasted many bathrooms
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
