ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize