Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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