I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I still have a little drunk in my system
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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