Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
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