The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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