Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Randomize
