Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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